I visited fmylife for the first time this morning. Absolutely hilarious. Here are some chuckles to get your morning going. No matter how bad your day is, somebody has it worse:
Today, my Facebook was hacked. The hacker messaged all my online friends, explaining that “I” was overseas, had run out of money and needed help. Not one person cared enough to respond. I guess the hacker picked the wrong target.
Today, I learned how unhappy my husband is in our marriage. Apparently he also can’t find a good woman. We didn’t have a heart-to-heart, I read his woes in a blog.
Today, after spending thousands of dollars and several years pursuing a higher education so I could get a high paying job doing something that requires skill and brainpower, I finally got my first job offer after months of searching. I will be cleaning houses.
Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday.
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away.
Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming “F*** you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!” It took me a second to realize it was my mother.
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with “Daddy wants one. He says you can have me.”
Today, my boss’s cat died. I’m expected to attend the service.
And this is my absolute favorite:
Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won’t let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might “let the Internet out”. It’s 103 degrees in here.
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